what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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