It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
