Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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