i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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