I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
