had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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