he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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