i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
