the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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