He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
