Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
