Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
