i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
