How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
my poor anus
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
