the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
home. puking in laundry basket.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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