his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
