And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
