all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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