K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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