I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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