Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
