sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
