Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
