Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
