they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
