OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
