he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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