so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
