hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
