I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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