Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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