you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
