I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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