Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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