I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
