he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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