She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
