I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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