and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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