Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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