I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
