Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
