what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
