What a fucking waste of an outfit
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
