thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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