do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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