If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
