There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
