just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
