well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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