ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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