Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
