Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
