i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize