For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
