you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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