Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
