I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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