I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
